In case you were wondering, yes the title of this post is inspired by the book of the same name but the actual post itself was inspired by a friend of ours. We’ve known her since we were freshmen in college, so we go way back. In the past year, she began dating a guy who brought out a side of her we didn’t know existed. And when she posted this picture on Facebook a couple weeks ago …
Well, the reaction was immediate. But while the two of us kept our opinions to ourselves, another mutual friend jumped in to say that this was some sexist bullsh*t (amen, sister!) assuming our friend was making a statement of sorts. Turns out she was. Just not the kind we were expecting. Nope, she actually supported this image wholeheartedly. And we won’t get into the details but things got ugly as they clashed in opinion. The two of us couldn’t stop thinking about it and as we scrolled through her page to see what else she and her boyfriend were posting, we found yet another image that had us scratching our heads in confusion. We knew we wanted to talk about it. So, here we are!
Rachel: Since I am single and believe in equality, I fall into that “new age, bitter single braud” category mentioned in the image. First of all, new age? Secondly, bitter? And lastly – “braud”? Seriously? Obviously, I have a lot of problems with this. I don’t like that she’s in her bra and underwear while he’s got a whole suit on. I don’t like that it’s all about what she can do for him. And I don’t like the assumption that all single women are bitter. Because, let me tell you – they are not. I want a boyfriend and if he’s the right man for me, I believe that we’ll take care of each other. Maybe that means I do a lot of the cooking because I’m the better cook. And he doesn’t mind making the long trek to the dumpster to throw out the garbage every time (this is my least favorite chore). It should be a give and take between two people who love each other and that image up there? It doesn’t show that equality at all.
Carina: I am very fortunate and blessed to be surrounded by very strong women and men in my life. My parents always being my role models. Growing up I observed my mom cook, clean, take care of my brothers and me, be my dad’s biggest supporter all in addition to her working a full-time job. I used to think she gave up on pursuing her dream to be a doctor while my dad was the one who followed-through with his career and I started to resent her for it. Then as I grew older and learned more about relationship dynamics, I realized my parents worked as a team. Though I first only observed my mom doing the housework, I started to realize my dad was also doing house chores alongside her. They took care of each other and the decision for my mom to hold off on her career was a joint decision and a temporary one. Once we were more stable financially, my dad supported my mom in the career decisions she decided to make.
So seeing the image above posted and supported on social media really makes me mad because it is very sexist, tears down the meaning of equality and says that those who support feminism are “new age, bitter single braud(s)”. I have nothing against “spoiling your man” but it should go both ways. Relationships are about teamwork and making each other happy. The image states that women should just cater to their men and we must do so half dressed and anyone who disagrees are single and bitter. Total BS!
Then here’s the image our friend’s boyfriend posted on her wall.
Rachel: I have to admit, I had to read this a couple times to understand what it meant. And I find it baffling. Is this supposed to be romantic? To say that loving a woman is a weakness but loving a man is a strength. Plus the whole “exchange of power” implies men have the power first and give it to women out of love. I mean, WHAT. Again, I admit my relationship experience is practically non-existent but I’d like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders and I don’t believe in what this image is trying to tell us. I think loving someone and being loved in return should give you – regardless if you are male or female – strength. I don’t think either person becomes weaker as a result of it. In a loving, healthy relationship you should bring out the best in one another and encourage the each other to always aspire to your best selves. (Am I right?)
Carina: I also had to read this a couple of times to grasp what it was trying to say. And I agree with Rachel wholeheartedly. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you weak? And why is this image perpetuating the idea that loving a woman is a weakness? Being in a loving, healthy relationship is about being each others biggest supporters, making each other happy and giving each other strength.
Have you guys seen either of these images before?
What do YOU think?